If you want to go far...

As a species, we have always excelled through collaboration for thousands of years. 

Strengthening our relationships and creating new ones is even more important now in a time of such polarity, AI, and isolation.

Whether you’re looking to find your partner, cofounder or new collaborator…

As Dan Sullivan, says it’s very rarely a how problem, but a who problem. 

All progress is made in partnership. 

There should be no bigger priority if you want to succeed personally and professionally. 

And right now is a great time to think about who you want to be spending your time with in the new year.

What relationships you want to nurture more.

Who you want to meet.

Where the gaps are.

People who you want to let go.

So as we’re thinking about building new connections and going deeper with the right relationships, let’s look at this underlying question:

How do you form relationships? 

The number one attribute is the quality of our listening - both to ourselves and genuine interest in others. 

From a place of openness and curiosity can form the most meaningful relationships in our lives. 

This point is illustrated vividly in one of my favorite TED talks of all time with conductor Benjamin Zander.

He talks about classical music, and how incredible his realization was that “...the conductor doesn’t make a sound. He depends for his power on his ability to make other people powerful.”

Silent conductor or not, what he’s describing is communication.

Zander realized his job was “...to awaken possibility in other people.”

And in order to find out whether he was doing this, he says you have to “...look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you’re doing it.”

If their eyes aren’t shining, he asks himself, “Who am I being, that their eyes are not shining?”

His definition of success is not about “...wealth and fame and power. It’s about how many shiny eyes I have around me.”

And you can absolutely see the shining eyes and lit up faces of the audience listening to his talk, at the main stage of TED. A room full of the most successful, wealthy, impactful individuals on the entire planet.

All glued to his talk, totally lit up.

It’s incredibly powerful.

Rather than good communication being about shoving your message down someone’s throat, it’s about bringing out the hero in people that you’re speaking with.

Inspiring them. Lighting them up.

Going into 2025, is it a good time to think about your listening with others. Does it come from a place of interest and curiosity? 

How are you connecting to your friends, your family, your team, your customers?

Do you have shining eyes around you?

And if not, what can you do to light people up?

Feel free to respond and let me know what you think.

Talk soon!

Best, 

Oliver

PS. We’ve invited one of the world’s top public speaking coaches to lead a private in-person course for a small cohort in one month.

You’ll learn to captivate audiences, build confidence and share your message in a clear and inspiring way.

–> You can learn more and apply here